


Honesty

by KatieWho



Series: The Joys Of Thinking [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Post 15x08, Trapped In Elevator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 06:58:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16697614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieWho/pseuds/KatieWho
Summary: “I can’t- I can’t-...”, her breathing grew more laboured while her hand drew wild figures in the air. More out of reflex than anything else, Andrew put his free hand on her other shoulder and squeezed for a second. “Okay, okay. Just focus on my breathing. In and out, Meredith.”, his words were slow and steady, as were his breaths so she could mimic his actions. “Good, and again.”, his voice was soft and he could see that Meredith slowly started repeating what he did.





	Honesty

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at these two! Forgive me if they may seem slightly ooc, I haven't watched this show in ages but these two made me want to start again. And since there's not enough fics about them yet, I decided to contribute. :)  
> I am not a native speaker, so if you find any mistakes please let me know so I can fix them!

“We’re stuck!”, said Meredith breathlessly, her eyes widening a fraction. She turned to Andrew who looked at her with the same shocked expression before taking a step towards the floor buttons and pressing most of them as if it would help more than when Meredith did it. He looked at her again, searched the elevator for some other kind of exit before slumping back against the walls, sighing. _This is gonna take a while…_ , he thought wearily.  
Meanwhile Meredith had turned back to the floor buttons and pushed them once more but again nothing happened, the elevator didn’t move an inch. The dim illumination of the emergency lights made the tiny room seem even smaller and Meredith felt hot. She turned back towards Andrew, panic seeping into her bones. “They gotta get us out of here!”, her voice sounded upset and DeLuca turned a worried glance at her. He hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. Her breathing had become faster and her chest felt heavier.  
“Meredith?”, he tried hesitantly, not wanting to upset her any further, his half-hearted promise from earlier forgotten when he got a good look at her. She seemed troubled, but in a different way to moments before when he had confessed what had been on his mind for a long time now. When she had smiled at him...Andrew shook his head slightly and turned his attention back to the woman in front of him who seemed to panic more as the seconds went by. “Meredith?”, he tried once more while straightening up from the wall to get closer to her. When she still didn’t react to his words he laid a hand on her shoulder and stepped right in front of her to get a better look at her facial expressions.  
The small touch startled her and she turned her alarmed eyes on him before laying one hand on her chest and the other one on the arm that was holding her. He remembered the similar positions from their moment earlier but something wasn’t quite right here. Her gaze was unfocussed and her breathing way too heavy. “Hey Meredith, talk to me. What’s wrong?”, the worry in his voice was audible and she tried focusing on his words but she just couldn’t properly.  
“I can’t- I can’t-...”, her breathing grew more laboured while her hand drew wild figures in the air. More out of reflex than anything else, Andrew put his free hand on her other shoulder and squeezed for a second. “Okay, okay. Just focus on my breathing. In and out, Meredith.”, his words were slow and steady, as were his breaths so she could mimic his actions. “Good, and again.”, his voice was soft and he could see that Meredith slowly started repeating what he did. She tried sucking in a deep breath and closed her eyes, her complete focus lying on this simple and yet in this moment unbelievably hard task. Her fingers dug deeper into his shoulder as if that action was grounding her.  
It kept going on like this for a few minutes in which it didn’t seem to work at all, the silence being filled only by her heavy breathing and his exaggerated ones, until it did work. Her head fell forward slightly and her shoulders slumped a little. Andrew worried that she might collapse any moment and while her grip on him lessened somewhat he took another step closer. He could feel her giving into her exhaustion when she laid her forehead on his shoulder, worn down by this panic attack he wanted to know the reason of.  
His right hand drew small circles on her back and he could feel her relaxing more and more as she kept leaning against him.  
“Better?”, his words were a whisper and Meredith nodded her head slowly. She stayed in that position a moment longer, gathering all the strength it brought her, before standing up straight again, a sigh escaping her lips. She leaned her body back onto the cold elevator walls and put some distance between herself and her student. She had let go of his shoulder and Andrew missed the warmth that had spread from her tiny hands immediately.  
“I’m fine.”, the phrase had become a habit and she ran a hand over her reddened cheeks, trying to wipe away the small tears without him noticing.  
Andrew watched her closely, taking a step to stand next to her and turning his upper body into her direction. “I don’t believe you’re fine, but it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”, he uttered quietly and Meredith glanced at him through her bangs, head hanging, before she nodded. “Okay.”, she breathed.  
He mimicked her nod and turned his eyes somewhere else. The silence came back and Andrew slowly sank to the floor. When he felt Meredith's questioning gaze on him he shrugged. “God knows how long we’ll be here.”  
She held the eye-contact a moment longer, her expression showing the signs of slight panic once more. She decided to just sit down as well and brought her legs close to her chest. She looped her arms around her knees and let her chin fall onto them. It made her look much younger and more insecure than the confident surgeon he’d gotten to know.  
“You’re not alone, Meredith. We’ll be out soon.”, he told her calmly and waited for a reaction only to realise he wouldn’t get one. He pushed himself away from the wall behind him and closer to her, afraid she might have another panic attack. But he held himself back from touching her again.

Meredith caught the movement in the corner of her eye and found his concern endearing but didn’t know what to do with it right then. She’d had such a week and she didn’t know how to react to the man beside her, even less after what he had confessed to her. She had meant it when she said she wanted to think about it, think about how she felt when he was close to her. And she was inclined to agree with him but there were just so many factors playing a role in this that affected her decision. She sighed and closed her eyes again, protecting them from the dim lightning with her hands.  
It was just too much. First Catherine, then Richard. Worrying about the man who’d been more of a father to her than her actual dad had been. And Thatcher...he was dying. She still had to make a decision on that front as well and didn’t have much time left. Why did everything had to happen at once?  
Her breathing quickened again and she attempted to calm herself when she suddenly felt Andrews hand on her shoulder and heard him talking to her. She listened to the sound of his voice and tried to focus only on that even if she didn’t understand a word he was saying. She hated being in enclosed spaces when there was no way for her to leave. Especially today...the emotional stress put a strain on her and being stuck in an elevator didn’t help matters much.

Andrew drew slow circles on her upper back and watched the woman beside him closely. He didn’t know how to help her if she didn’t talk to him. Didn’t know how to save her from her thoughts who seemed to be the reason for her welling panic.

Meredith could feel her breathing slowing once more if she only concentrated on Andrews voice enough. She knew she shouldn’t give into him like this, shouldn’t give into his calm and shouldn’t let him have this effect on her but right in this moment...it helped a lot. Her thoughts wandered to Derek for a few seconds, having been in a similar situation with him once upon a time...remembering him...  
She sighed and eased the grip on her legs slightly, gradually letting herself fall against Andrew, lying her head on his shoulder. She felt...calm. The thoughts in her mind stopped whirring and she could let go. For a short quick moment she just wanted to forget about all that had happened this week. She just wanted to give in.  
Give in to Andrew.  
But it wouldn’t be fair, would it?. She had asked for time. But his words had been true, hadn’t they? She felt it too. But how was she supposed to let herself? He was her student. Even if that didn’t seem to bother him.  
It just reminded her strongly of herself and Derek when they first started out. He was right, he wasn’t an intern anymore but even then she was still his teacher, his attending. She couldn’t put him through what she had been put through back then.  
And would they even stand a chance…?

“How do I make your wheels stop turning? Your thoughts are basically screaming at me, Meredith. How can I help?”, Andrews voice interrupted her musings. His warm breath tickled her forehead and she could feel the word’s vibrations in his chest. “You can’t.”, she simply stated. Where would she even begin to explain what was going on inside of her?  
The silence crept back once more and Meredith kept her eyelids closed as if it could turn off her thoughts and keep the worries away.  
“My father...Thatcher. He’s dying.”, she told him eventually and felt Andrew turn his shocked expression on her. “It’s just...we never had the best relationship and after my sister died we never really kept in contact. I opened the door for him, I gave him a part of my liver and he...just didn’t walk through.”  
The young man watched her confused. He’d never really heard her story before. Of course there were rumours and tales but he’d never heard her say something about it herself. It seemed a bit incoherent, like he was missing some information, but he noticed it was weighing hard on her mind.  
“Did you get the chance to say goodbye?”, he asked carefully, not really sure if she wanted his input at all.  
“I don’t know if I should.”, she answered honestly. She had addressed the subject with Maggie, even talked to Jackson about it, but still hadn’t gotten closer to an answer.  
“I don’t know all the details, but...if you have the chance to say goodbye, shouldn’t you use it?”, he stopped for a moment and thought about how to say this without making her uncomfortable. But she had started it, right? So she must expect some kind of advice, mustn’t she? “However he’s been throughout his life, don’t you think you might regret it someday if you don’t visit him one last time?” Andrew looked down on the top of her head and heard her sigh quietly.  
“Maybe.” The word was barely audible and sounded sorrowful that he didn’t know how to react to it.  
“Is that what’s been on your mind since this morning? When we were with Cece?”  
Meredith shook her head no and blew out some air through her lips. Might as well just talk about this too… “No. I have two friends. One of them is family to me and they’re having problems. She has a tumour that’s as good as untreatable and she’s counting on me to help her. And he’s...having a hard time himself right now and still doesn’t know about her diagnosis. It’s..not easy.”

The momentousness of this situation hit her once more and Andrew could only nod. He had no idea how she was still standing and doing this _amazing_ work, teaching others this _brilliantly_. Just remembering Sam and what he had lost had almost paralyzed him completely and here she was, ready to fight this battle all by herself. Meredith Grey was an admirable person. An amazingly talented surgeon and doctor and an even better human being.  
“Meredith…”, her name was a sigh on his lips and he lifted one of his hands to her knee. He wanted to help her, be there for her but right this moment he felt completely useless. Nothing could really help her right now. “Your week has been...awful.”  
A short breathy laugh escaped the blonde and she turned her gaze to him, her eyes shining lightly. At least he had made her laugh for a second, that was a win in his book. “You truly are breathtaking.”, he murmured fascinated and couldn’t take his eyes off of hers. The tension between them hit them with a vengeance and he slowly uncurled his fingers from her knee to put a strand of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. She closed her eyes at the caressing movement of his fingertips over her cheek and took a deep breath, willing her heart to stop pounding inside of her chest. “Andrew…”, she whispered and he once again thought back on their moment in that room. He couldn’t take advantage like this, he had to respect her wish. And he couldn’t shake the blossoming feeling that he did in fact have a chance here.  
“I know.”, he whispered right back and smiled at her softly as he caressed her cheek gently with his thumb. “You’re thinking, I know. I just wanted to let you know one more time so you don’t forget.” He grinned at her cheekily and Meredith let go of the breath she was holding. She still felt that tension between them but she could feel herself ease up again. He understood it somehow. Understood her somehow.  
“Okay.”, she returned his smile and leaned her head against the elevator walls.  
“Okay.”, Andrew nodded in reply.

Oh did she have a lot of thinking to do.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please leave kudos or a comment! :)


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